tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60092798102939088902024-03-08T19:15:39.428-05:00The Anxious ExerciserComing to terms with the fact that I might actually not mind exercising.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-60518991035939362492009-09-28T00:24:00.002-04:002009-09-28T00:53:20.302-04:00So. Hi. If anyone happens to read this, that is.<br /><br />So basically the last few months have been a massive ball of stress and continue to be. I haven't had a good night's sleep since possibly...March-ish. I have no money, and pretty much feel as down on myself as a person can get without having serious death-in-the-family-kicked-out-of-house-diagnosed-with-life-threatening-disease issues. My ADD (which for most of my life has been low-key enough that I can pretend that I don't have it, or at least take advantage of it) has been cranked up to eleven and I've had to stop myself from opening a car door while the car is in operation because I am just that distracted. Luckily this does not happen while I am the one driving. And basically everything is just a massive ball of suck and not to be melodramatic but I'm just not equipped to deal with it. And a lot of it is is my fault, so I've been grinning and bearing it and pretending everything is hunky dory. Basically my brains been looking for things to feel guilty about and worry about and feel disgusted about. It's lovely, really.<br /><br />But I joined a new gym. The gym is less than five minutes away, compared to the half hour away the old gym was. So if I'm only up to going and working out for twenty minutes, then I'll only have to devote thirty minutes, tops, and not having the feeling that I just wasted a bunch of gas. A good friend who has been instrumental in keeping my feet on the ground during the worst of the ADD episodes (even if she doesn't know it) is a member, as are most of my other friends who live around here. On the one hand, it is a good thing. Friends! We can all look like idiots together. On the other hand, it is a bad thing because I like to pretend my face doesn't turn bright red and sweaty at the mere mention of exercise, even during those days when I was in good shape. Oh well. That's on my list of things not to worry about.<br /><br />But anyway, I've been working out there for the past few days. Three, to be exact. I'm not expecting miracles, but already I've improved. I've already added a mile to what I could do on the elliptical the first day. My shoulders and legs are a bit sore, but in a good way. And the best things: The past two nights since I started working out again I've slept straight through the night, without nightmares (and not <a href="http://anxious-exerciser.blogspot.com/2009/01/zombie-menace.html">fun zombie nightmares</a>, either) <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> I've not been in a constant state of panic. Yeah, I'm still having trouble keeping my head in the game long enough to have a five minute conversation or pay attention to a tv show between commercial breaks. But, you know, baby steps. I'm getting there.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-34569958305032986242009-01-27T16:00:00.002-05:002009-01-27T16:16:32.884-05:00The Run AroundI went to the gym today to do the elliptical. I'd been slacking off (if you can call it that, and I'd use another word if my mind were working right, but I'm the person who routinely dreams about zombies, so obviously my mind ain't working right) on the whole working out on my own. I read somewhere that people who's jobs, and, indeed, lives, tend put them in charge of a situation tend to gravitate toward group classes at the gym, with an instructor, because they like not being in charge for once. And while I'm in charge of no one except myself (and even then, not really), I kind do have to keep track of a bunch of different people doing a bunch of different things at work. In the gym class, everyone is doing the same thing and the only person I have to keep track of is the instructor.<br /><br />But, as you may have heard, it is winter in the northern hemisphere, and I'm sick of the snow already, so I am planning of what I can do when I don't have to worry about falling ass over backwards on a patch of ice. I get bored after two seconds on a treadmill, but the elliptical is at least tolerable, so I went on that today instead of going to a class, in the idea that if I start now, I might be able to run around the block in April without having the non-asthmatic's version of an asthma attack. I made it 2 and a half miles, which is what I was expecting. Last time I used the elliptical, I made it to nine miles in a go within a month, so all I need to do is keep it up. Problem is right now my knees have been bothering me, even with the elliptical (another reason why I did the elliptical over the class that generally involves invisible jump ropes and jumping jacks and plyo hops) and I think the elliptical may have exacerbated it. It's my own damn fault, I've been wearing high healed boots for nearly a week straight, and even if they are the most comfortable high healed boots I could ever possibly afford, if I go for too long without spending a signficant portion of my time in sneakers, my knees start complaining. Alas.<br /><br />Tomorrow I'm going to have to take a break from ellipticals and jumping jack sort of aerobics because we're due for the snow storm everyone's been talking about tomorrow, and I'm not driving to the gym in the middle of a snow storm and the living room isn't ideal jumping jack territory. Maybe I'll put a dvd in or something, but any work out dvd I have tends to be, IMO, too easy, and I feel like I'm cheating. Still, better than nothing.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-52633290503080237352009-01-21T08:01:00.004-05:002009-01-21T09:17:18.669-05:00Zombies, Zumba, and...Z'Obama!So, unsurprisingly, I had another zombie related dream a few nights ago. This time, the zombies were apparently sentient and were trying to convince people to come outside and join them, because being a zombie was pretty cool. I'm not sure what arguments they used, but I remember people mostly being like "Hah. Whatever, zombies. You aren't going to fool us."<br /><br />My dreams apparently aren't known for the witty dialogue.<br /><br />Anyway, the lesson I'm going to take from this possible view of the future is that I should find more ways to be able to exercise without leaving the house. Which makes sense, because so far this winter is of the sort where it's been snowing hard a couple of times a week, which can make the half hour drive to the Y less than desirable, and you might as well wear ice skates when you go outside for all the ice on the sidewalks. What works for recruiting zombies works for the winter.<br /><br />So, anyway, the Y had it's first Zumba class Monday. Monday was also a heavy snow day, so there weren't many people there. Normally I'd skip out, too, but my car was parked in back, so I had to clean it off and move it so my parents could get to work, and I really was looking forward to the Zumba class, so I went anyway, and only lost control of my car a little bit. The class wasn't nearly as intense as the class I went to with my friend was, or really, even close to the intensity of a normal work out class, but it was the first time the teacher had taught it (she being one of the normal morning class teachers), and the first time any of us (which consisted of people who normally take the morning classes) had really taken a zumba class, so we had to be taught it, which is good, because using my hips turned out to be unexpectedly complicated. It was fun, though, and I'm looking forward to next week's class.<br /><br />But, what is more important than zombies and zumba? I know! Sacrilege! But yesterday was pretty damn amazing. I'm just happy. That was an amazing speech and I'm so privileged to be a part of this generation. And I keep trying to remember that there is never anything false about hope, and it is all right to hope that this guy, the President of the United States of America, can help move the country in a good direction without my mind cutting in and telling me that nothing will happen because nobody will let anything happen. As the man said himself:<br /><br /><i> "Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage."</i><br /><br />Things can happen.<br /><br />I'm so glad that that one group's religion isn't being injected into the government any longer. Hopefully. Denying the rights of other citizens of the United States of America when they haven't done anything wrong isn't my religion. Purposely not investigating possible cures for horrible and deadly dieseases isn't my religion.<br /><br />And look at <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/">the new website</a>. I know that the whole transparency thing is probably mostly a crock of bodily product, but at least it will be a little better. Not so much of a "Because we said so" thing. And it's really weird for me, because I grew up in a Republican family, and anyone who was liberal was an idiot for believing the liberal media, and I really went through an identity crisis when I realized that I had fallen hook, line, and sinker for Obama, that I truly believed that he could lead this country in a better direction, and that I couldn't vote for McCain, once the only person in politics that I admired. I started to not watch the news in case it was the liberal media finally winning me over, and just get my news from online sources. But yeah, right now, for possibly the first and only time, I'm truly and unabashedly happy about who we chose for president.<br /><br />The one thing missing from his speech is his plans on how to deal with the upcoming zombie epidemic.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-45779295595593486602009-01-12T22:17:00.002-05:002009-01-12T22:29:16.316-05:00My dose of whining for the day.Somehow, every single time I've gone to try on bridesmaid dresses, I've had my period. Not cool. Even this month, when I've gone kind of wonky, probably because of the holidays, I'm going to pick up the bridesmaid dress and see what needs to be fitted. I'm terrified it won't fit after the holidays, even though last time it was lose enough that I thought my friend was mistaken when she said it was zipped up. I also don't know where I am going to put it, as it is a foofy dress and my closet is tiny enough that the normal size hangers are wider than the closet.<br /><br />I've also been craving bacon a lot in the past thirty six hours, since my adventures in Wine Land. I indulged myself yesterday and today, because this morning I was still feeling kind of grody, but tomorrow it's back to my "detoxing" diet of cheerios and almond milk. I call it detoxing because I'll be less likely to crave diner sort of breakfasts, including the breakfast sandwich at the place down the street. The almond milk is because I'm borderline lactose intolerant, especially in the mornings, and I prefer it over soy milk, and not because I'm doing a vegan detox.<br /><br />I've been wanting to take walks on the beach, except it's been either snowing or frostbite cold. Last winter I toughed it out on the days where it wasn't frostbite cold and bundled up and went to the beach anyway. But lately if I haven't been busy, it's either dark, frostbite cold, or snowing. It's (comparatively) the beginning of winter and already I'm getting annoyed at the cramp the snow is putting in my style. Namely my desire to drop everything and go to the beach whenever I feel like it when I'm not working.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-15348925279074252872009-01-12T08:30:00.003-05:002009-01-12T08:38:07.631-05:00Trying new thingsMuch of the time, trying new things is pretty good. Particularly in exercise or something physical, because nowadays, whenever I try something new, I exceed my own expectations. That may be because before I do the New Thing, I'm telling myself "Don't kill yourself over this. No one expects you to be an expert." And then once I get into it "Oh, this isn't so bad." And I get into it. And then the next day I have trouble moving my arms. But I think the confidence from knowing I can do the New Thing is worth having the temporary limited mobility.<br /><br />And then there are times when trying new things is bad. Like at a wine tasting. Because two years ago, I don't like wine. And then I happen to be at a party/wine tasting and someone gives me wine, and it is the first ever wine I liked. And then the next year/this past Saturday night, I'm at the same person's wine tasting and I like a lot more wine. And it turns out what my mother has been saying is true and that wine is a terrible thing to get drunk off of, and induces my first ever hangover. Also a bad thing to try. On the other hand, I'm sure I've lost some weight praying to the porcelain gods this weekend.<br /><br />Mainly I'm writing this post because the next time it occurs to me to drink wine, maybe I'll remember this post.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-63889108852246841652009-01-09T08:33:00.002-05:002009-01-09T08:42:58.205-05:00I did some serious core work for a while yesterday, beyond doing a few crunches and bicycle thingies until I got bored. Fortunately I am not at the state where I am not wracked with pain if I should have to cough.<br /><br />Working on my core more is my first official step of my plan to be able to win in a zombie invasion. More core work means more balance means less tripping and having my skull ripped apart. Plus Wii Fit keeps telling me my balance is bad and asking me if I trip a lot when I walk. The fact that I do only aggravates me more, and instead of being able to blame my clumsiness on my father's bad genes and spending more time than I'd like to admit worrying if I'm going to trip on something, this piece of white plastic is telling me if I spend more time on a virtual tight rope (which I reached pro level on yesterday. Suck on that, Wii!), I might not find myself tripping so much when I walk.<br /><br />Now all I need is a game where a zombie is chasing me across a virtual tight rope, and I'd be golden. Or else I'd be having some really weird dreams.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-71358484296396285602009-01-07T12:24:00.004-05:002009-01-07T12:56:38.927-05:00The Zombie MenaceI've been having a lot of dreams about zombies lately. A lot being defined here as more than one, because really, unless you've had zombies on the brain (hah. Get it? zombies on the brain? It's almost a pun), how many zombie dreams can a person expect to have? And I haven't seen a zombie movie recently and the last (and only) zombie book I read was <a href="http://www.amazon.com/World-War-Z-History-Zombie/dp/0307346617/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231349286&sr=8-1">World War Z</a> about six months ago.<br /><br />I highly recommend that book by the way. It is remarkably well thought out. Interesting study of class and culture conflict brought on by the Zombie Menace. Seriously.<br /><br />Anyway, in my most recent zombie related dream, I wanted to run out to the garage to get my softball bat and a gardening implement to create a zombie destroying weapon. But I was afraid I would either be too slow or trip on the way out there, leaving me open to a zombie attack.<br /><br />Anyway, as anyone who has a zombie related dream, one worries if one's dreams are precognitive, and if so, what one should do to prepare for a possible future zombie pandemic, and what sort of websites are out there to prepare one for such a thing.<br /><br />Luckily, I got myself some coffee which banished most zombie related thoughts before I took such drastic action as looking up zombies on the Internet. Who knows where <i>that</i> could lead?<br /><br />But it brought to mind that if suddenly I was in the middle of a zombie infestation, I couldn't rely on myself to be able to out run even a pack of zombies (zombies, you see, being known for being rather slow and uncoordinated) without worrying about tripping. I'd be that twit in movies that runs around in stilettos and twisting her ankles, except without the excuse of stilettos.<br /><br />What does it say about my balance that one of my worries is that I'd probably trip while out running a (so far) hypothetical creature? I'm fairly sure I'd be able to out run a zombie. Pretty sure. But you can never be too sure about zombies. They are, after all, hypothetical.<br /><br />So anyway, one of my motivators lately has been thinking about possible zombie outbreaks. Five more minutes on the elliptical is five more minutes of training of out running zombies. Another rep of weight lifting means more upper body strength behind that softball bat/zombie weapon. Another round of Wii boxing means being able to destroy that zombies brain's that much easier.<br /><br />Hey, whatever works.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-23616647433230620042009-01-04T18:51:00.005-05:002009-01-04T19:15:40.207-05:00New YearI went swimming today at the Y! It was free swim, and it was in the middle of winter, and it is still during Christmas break, so bucket loads of kids were there. But still, I like swimming. It makes me happy. I have a pretty bathing suit, which I probably shouldn't be wearing in the hyperchlorinated water in the Y pool, but whatever.<br /><br />We got a Wii for Christmas, which, it seems like everyone else has gotten. I am absolutely crazy about the boxing. Today I had the first match that didn't end with a knockout, and then I had a rematch with the same character, and <span style="font-style: italic;">I didn't win</span>. This is horrifying. I'm a fiercely competitive person, even if it is against a computer generated character named Emma. We also have the Wii Fit, which is entertaining, particularly if you are watching someone else trying to avoid panda bear heads during the soccer game. But still, boxing makes me sweat like I just ran full out on the elliptical for twenty minutes. Possibly even more so. But it is fun, instead of just tolerable, like running on the elliptical while listening to music. With a few exceptions, depending on the music. So, currently, Wii Boxing beats out Wii fit, especially as Wii fit says I am forty years older than I am and my Mii wadles. It is not my fault that I am genetically imbalanced. My father's side of the family is legendary for being clumsy. Plus the weight thing. Bah. Stupid Wii fit. Luckily I can take my aggressions out in Wii Boxing!<br /><br />So new year. It kind of annoys me because I say, okay, now that I don't really have the mountain of chocolate staring me in the face, I should have less trouble eating right and stuff now. And then I feel like a cliche for trying to lose weight at the beginning of the year. You just can't win.<br /><br />Anyway. I'm trying to reprioritize. I'm not sure if I'm spelling that right, because Firefox doesn't recognize that "reprioritize" is a word. I was thinking mindful eating before, but that sticks about as well as water and flour paste. So I am rethinking it. Right now I'm trying Fitday.<br /><br />Huh, Firefox accepts Fitday as being a word. Anyway, we'll see how that works out. I like how it is kind of nonjudgemental, unlike some devices that begin with a "W."<br /><br />Also, I tried Zumba with a friend. The Y I belong to doesn't currently offer Zumba, but her gym, which is much closer to my house than the Y and just opened over the summer, and so I was thinking of joining, does. That class is rediculously fun. I don't think I've ever had so much fun at the gym. I looked like an idiot, but I did remarkably well for it being my first class ever. If you didn't know any better, you'd think I just wasn't used to the teacher. Plus part of it was kickboxing, and had some of the same punch and kick combos that my class does. I think I scared my friend at how intense I was during the familiar parts. But still, rediculously fun.<br /><br />If anyone is reading this, how does anyone feel about changing gyms? This gym is probably a mile away, whereas the Y is ten miles away, so I have to set aside at least two hours for a one hour gym session, plus showering and things. But I like the people at the Y, I'm used to the schedule, and it has a pool. Plus they are adding Zumba to the class schedule sometime in the next few weeks. But, I'll admit, that twenty mile (total) drive every day <span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-size:10;" ></span> is a bit daunting, especially when gas money is tight.<br /><br /><br /><br />----------------<br />Now playing: <a href="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/dave+matthews+band/track/big+eyed+fish" title="'Dave Matthews Band - Big Eyed Fish' - open on FoxyTunes Planet">Dave Matthews Band - Big Eyed Fish</a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: italic;font-size:10;" >via <a style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);" href="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/" title="FoxyTunes - Web of music at your fingertips">FoxyTunes</a></span>Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-87888269095601264992008-12-08T10:06:00.002-05:002008-12-08T10:34:31.941-05:00So, yeah. I screwed up. I'm horribly angry with myself and yet again I'm horribly angry with myself for being horribly angry with myself. I've been looking at pictures of myself and being horribly disgusted because I'm fat. There is none of the gleefulness or the gorgeousness that came from being confident with myself. I probably only weigh ten pounds more, which granted I'm very displeased about, but it isn't something to beat myself up over or the rather severe depression that's been kicking my ass lately.<br /><br />I've got the winter blues, and we only had our first snow yesterday. It sucks.<br /><br />I have to kick my own ass over this. It doesn't magically disappear and fix itself by stepping into a Weight Watcher's meeting. The problem is that I have not idea how to fix the brain funk that I'm in. I'm piss poor right now, to the point where I have to budget out where I drive, and unfortunately, going back and forth to the gym takes about an hour of driving time. I've been doing some stuff at home, but for some reason it is harder to work so hard to pound the emotional stuff out at home.The therapist lady's been booked up because of the holidays, and I haven't had a session for two weeks, and it scares me that I'm dependent enough on the sessions to get this messed up after two weeks. But I have an appointment this week.<br /><br />Maybe it is the "official" winter blues. I really don't care. I don't think I'm severe enough to need to be on anti-depressants, as I haven't been this depressed since...well, last December. But the point is, I'm doing, short of the drugs, everything that should be helping me. The money issue's been kicking my ass all the sudden, though I'm as rich/poor as I've ever been.<br /><br />So, yeah, sorry after disappearing for a few months just to return to have a freak out. Maybe this is what I need until I get my head on straight. Blogging is free, after the internet service and the laptop.<br /><br />So, anyway. I've watched that show on the Style network, <span style="font-style: italic;">Ruby. </span>I'll admit, the first time I saw it on the guide thingy, I thought it said <span style="font-style: italic;">Ru<span style="font-weight: bold;">d</span>y</span> and I was confused about why the women's style network kept showing the football movie that makes people cry. It's actually not as bad or unentertaining as I thought it would be. Ruby is an interesting person with a really cool personality. I'm not a diehard fan, but I'm also rooting for her and she kind of makes me happy beyond the fat girl happiness of "Well, at least I'm not as bad as she is."<br /><br />Non sequiter alert: I've been doing some life changes. I'd been trying to get into grad school for library science. Even though I'm not a spiritual person by any means, I've noticed that life tends to work out in the end. So, I'd been getting the run around from a bunch of different sources. It was getting to be exhausting and I noticed that I was getting more and more lukewarm about the idea and getting signs that this might not be the best idea for me right now. The whole process is/was stressful. But in the meantime, because of my taking the gre and apparently doing well on it, I was getting contacted by various universities and collleges, after getting my scores, wanting me to go there. Now, mind, I didn't tell the GRE exam people to send my scores all haphazard. In fact, I strictly told them not to. But anyway, various colleges, including Columbia and McGill, calling me on the phone asking me to go convinced me that I'll probably turn out all right and I wouldn't neccesarily have to do a job that I was never sure about. So, now, the plan is to enter, in a round about way, the legal profession.<br /><br />So, see, I haven't just been sitting around eating comfort food and feeling sorry for myself. I've been making Life Descisions. I've also been planning my bragging rights when the relatives start poking their noses in at Christmas time.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-24494877105088700962008-09-24T08:50:00.004-04:002008-09-24T09:06:32.943-04:00Knock on wood. Knock on wood. Knock on wood!So, I've been having a weird appetite lately. Ever since I've given a damn about what I eat, cookies have always been my kryptonite. I could be so on top of things and have all my good fats and vitamins and correct servings of fruit and protein and feel so absolutely in control of things, and then I'd remember that there are Keebler Fudge cookies in the cabinet. I'd try to resist it, I'd even go so far as to resist for a couple of days, thinking if I could just hold out long enough, I could break my cookie addiction, but like an addict, I would constantly be thinking about those cookies and how it woudl be so easy to eat them.<br /><br />But for the past three weeks, I've not had any appetite for cookies. In fact, when I have any craving for something sweet, it's been for an apple or an orange. I see the cookies in the cabinet and they are perfectly good cookies. Bona fide Chips Ahoy or Nabisco Oreos, but when I contemplate eating them, in my mind they taste like stale cookies from the 99 cent store. Even when I'm at the totally awesome coffee shop down the street from me with the really good melty chocolate chip cookies, they still don't really appeal to me.<br /><br />Maybe it is a case of changing an appetite. When I was younger I used to like pork chops, and now, while I'll eat them if someone's cooked them, I'd prefer something else. Hopefully.<br /><br />Or maybe it is because of the changing seasons. It's starting to become fully fledged fall here, and while I'd expect that to mean that I'd be craving comfort food more, maybe fall is anti-cookie season. Though it makes sense my craving for apples all the time.<br /><br />In any case, I've been knocking on wood so much I expect my knuckles to start bleeding any second now. I've needed a kick start for a while now, where my eating good and being healthy lasts for maybe a day. But now, I've had four good days in a row.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-29786833630135767702008-09-08T06:23:00.002-04:002008-09-08T06:46:48.311-04:00A quandryThere are many unanticipated problems with exercising. My current problem is morning breath. Mostly I like exercising in the morning. Like, shuffle out of bed, and get ready, and go, and wake up about twenty minutes into the work out. Alas, this means that I have to brush my teeth before I go. I mean, it's nothing serious, but my breath doesn't smell like roses in the morning. And I'm not a big fan of getting into the heavy breathing that accompanies exercising when I have to be breathing in and out stinky morning breath. Plus, I'm sure it wouldn't win my any friends in my kickboxing class.<br /><br />But on the other hand, I have the tendency to occasionally get nausea when I brush my teeth too soon after I wake up or before I've eaten anything. And I suppose the easy thing would be to eat a few almonds or something and then brush my teeth, but I feel like I'm already pushing it with the getting dressed and putting contacts in with my early morning self. So basically I am postponing going out for a run until my stomach remembers that I brush my teeth every day and this is nothing to get freaked out about.<br /><br />In happy news my best friend whom I've known since we were babies has gotten engaged. I very much approve of the guy and couldn't be happier, though it was kind of surprising at first because I still don't feel old enough to be having friends my age who are married. I'm in denial, even though technically I'm in my mid-twenties. Anyway, Best Friend asked me to be maid of honor, which I was even more surprised about and got weepy over and hyperventilated and now I think I've probably lost weight since she asked me from all the nerves. I've never really paid attention but there is a shitload of stuff to do.<br /><br />I've never subscribed to the theory that a person should lose weight because of a specific event. I mean I've read over and over again that looking good in a dress simply isn't enough motivation to lose the weight and keep it off without giving up. But I've been rather short in motivation as of late, and it seems to be working anyway. Even in the period between when she asked me to be a bridesmaid and when she asked me to be maid of honor, I went for a ton of walks to work off the nervous energy and lost my taste for cookies. Cookies! The little round things which had previously proven to be my kyrptonite! And now with all the stuff I keep thinking I have to do, I haven't had much of an appetite. I mean, this can't hurt, I suppose.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-73571951268772119632008-08-18T22:39:00.002-04:002008-08-18T23:07:40.758-04:00'Ja miss me?So yesterday I went kayaking. I love kayaking for many reasons. The primary one being that you know that feeling you get when you realize something unexpectedly cool is happening. Maybe the day starts off kind of blah and you are pretty much doing the same old same old and then a friend calls you to go out with them and you get a bit buzzed but not too bad and later on you do a one am run to the all night supermarket and get the stuff for s'smores along with baby carrots and exotic juice drinks which you intend on mixing with the vodka or rum but kind of just forget about it and just throw stuff into the fire, and when you think think about the boring run of the mill part of the day it seems ages ago, and that kind of makes the whole thing seem cooler.<br /><br />Well, kayaking for me is like that. I live in Massachusetts, but I don't live in the particularly cool part. I live twenty minutes inland, which is okay, but you probably couldn't tell where I live apart from Michigan. I don't live in Boston, I don't live down the Cape, I don't live in the mountains. I live in the part where people live if they need to conveniently live kind of close to those places but don't want to deal with the possibility of not having an all night supermarket or worry about road construction being insane enough to kill you. It's a nice place to live and grow up in and I wouldn't want to leave here to move to the countless other places around the country that are convenient but not particularly interesting. Kayaking makes me feel like all those places you see in travel magazines that make you think everyone goes on vacations with hiking boots instead of their loosest jeans aren't really that exotic and are actually pretty accessable.<br /><br />You look up places on line to kayak and the place I went to yesterday was fifteen minutes away, but I would have never knew it existed. There were all sorts of crazy inlets to explore and mazes of sawgrass. I saw a bunch of birds and some wildlife and what I swear is a UFO.<br /><br />Unfortunately (or, considering this is allegedly a health blog, fortunately) one of the kayaks we use had a leak in it, and so the friend we went with has a two person kayak, so I took the single person working kayak intentionally, figuring I'd get a better work out and work my arms and torso more if I didn't have someone else to rely on. Alas, this pretty much meant I was constantly paddling for three hours to keep up. I was so tired yesterday afterwards that a few hours afterwards, after I showered, I decided that I didn't like the shirt I was wearing, but was too tired to make the effort to take one t-shirt off and put another one on.<br /><br />I hope no crazy rowers will read this blog, or else they'd be thinking "Three hours! Pah! I could do that hung over in twenty foot waves with a malfunctioning paddle!"<br /><br />But yeah, it was definitely an awesome day. Plus I only got a hint of a sunburn and a few bug bites on my heal. Score. At least I hope they are bug bites. At one point we got out of the kayaks to swim for a few minutes and I'm not a fan of swimming in places where I can't see anything. I'd suck at midnight skinny dipping. But anyway, I swear my foot touched something and I know I saw at least a horseshoe crab (it was a saltwater river). It could have been a sting ray or a man-o-war. If you don't hear from me, assume I've gone into shock and in a hospital.<br /><br />That's another point for where I live. Convenient access to excellent hospitals, which presumably can rescue one from jelly fish attack.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-11571131926998694462008-07-21T08:15:00.002-04:002008-07-21T08:36:36.928-04:00Being all whinyI really don't want to go to the Weight Watchers meeting. I haven't been there for three weeks, and I've gained more weight than I'm okay with because my pants feel too tight. There are going to be a bunch of cheery and optimistic people who have lost weight this week and are close to getting to goal, while I'm sitting there feeling bitter. But I'll go, and I'll probably weigh in, because I want to lose weight this week and I'd like to know about it next week. Better gain twenty pounds this week and lose a pound next week than gain nineteen pounds next week. The meetings have worked before and damn it if I'll give up because I'm being an idiot.<br /><br />It's been humid as all get out, which hasn't been encouraging me to get outside and go running, because humid plus running plus girl who sucks at running equals terrible. I'd come up with something more witty but it is too humid. I'm well aware that if someone from Florida or Brazil or Mississippi were to visit right now, they would laugh long and hard at my discomfort. Just as I would laugh long and hard at their discomfort of below freezing weather in the winter. But, hell, I'm the one that has to run.<br /><br />So, I'm off to get the bad news and get back on track.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-10259694618331677442008-07-17T11:13:00.005-04:002008-07-17T12:26:46.367-04:00Goals don't work. Ambiguity does.So I've been away for a couple of weeks, in the sense that I have not posted and I have not really been paying attention to my health. I have a bit of an excuse for the first in that I was away in the beginning of July and it took me a few days to get my head on straight after traveling.<br /><br />Part of the reason for not paying attention to my health is kind of good. I'm not all that ashamed of my weight any more. I'm not sure what changed, as I am in no way close to my ideal weight. Sometimes I look in the mirror and have a "Hey, I look pretty good" moment. Maybe other people don't feel that way and a few minutes later I feel like I'm probably just fooling myself. But hey, that's why I use the name Fooled. My goal was to fool myself into thinking exercise is doable, even for me, to fool myself into thinking that eating right makes me feel better, and pretty much fool myself into being a better person.<br /><br />That and the Led Zeppelin song "Fool in the Rain" is one of my favorite songs.<br /><br />But anyway, I've achieved, or at least, had achieved my goals. I'd do four hours of various forms of exercise during the day, because hey, why not. And goshdarn it if I didn't feel better when I did eat right. I had more confidence, which is one of my prerequisites for being a better person.<br /><br />But I set out these goals, or at leas the health oriented ones, because my health wasn't good, or at least wasn't going to be good. A doctor scared me into not being such of an idiot any more, hence why I started eating right and exercising. And I started getting healthier, and lost weight, and I met goals, and ironically that was what derailed me for more than a few days.<br /><br />I had confidence, I had done what millions of people hadn't been able to do, namely lost more than twenty pounds. I could no longer shop in the plus sized department. My body had shape now, instead of resembling a pile of raw bread dough. And these were the things I focused on. I focused on my successes.<br /><br />I'm not saying that is a bad thing. It's a wonderful thing. If you don't acknowledged that you've changed, you'd probably go insane and spend most of the time you weren't at the gym curled up on the living room floor, completely drained because you hadn't eaten enough that day for all the exercise you had been doing.<br /><br />But it can't be the only thing. It can't even be close to the only thing. For me, it probably shouldn't even be in the realm of the only thing. I started off because I wanted to stay healthy, and I wanted to have a long, uncomplicated life. That's what had kept me going. My weight loss stalled when I thought about what was coming next. When would I hit the next ten pound mark? When would I be one of those people who made it to goal? When can I wear single number dress sizes?<br /><br />When I first got on this health kick, if that would even be the right term for it, I looked for a lot of information on just being healthy. That was the goal. I wanted to lose weight so I could be healthy. Don't think too much about being thin or being more attractive. That will come if I just focus on the health. I came across a blog talking about how to change your eating habits, and the woman wrote about vegetarians. She said that people who became vegetarians because of a moral reason tended to still eat a lot of junk food, because seriously, how much junk food has meat in it? But people who did it because of the health benefits were able to stick with it better and tended to not have the side effects associated with vegetarianism.<br /><br />Somehow the point was that vanity was not a strong enough reason to stick to a lifestyle change. If you went into it with your main goal being to fit into a size 6 or to look good in a bathing suit, you probably wouldn't be able to stick to it. But if you went into because you wanted to be healthy or you were at risk for diabetes, you were more likely to stick with it. That resonated with me and when I focused on that, it worked, but ever since the first thought of "I want to lose X pounds by Y date" I've sabotaged my efforts.<br /><br />My goals needs to be vague. I can't promise myself that I will reach my ideal BMI, my ideal weight, or my ideal clothing size, and I especially can't promise that I will have it by such and such a date. I can't do this with the goal of running the Boston Marathon or biking the Pan Mass Challenge and I can't seriously listen to people who, upon hearing my "crazy workout schedule" suggest such things. Whatever happens, happens, and I'll do my best in the mean time.<br /><br />In other news, my grandparents are moving to senior housing, and the aunts and uncles are cleaning their stuff out of their shed and basement and old bedrooms, which is how I scored a thirty-three year old men's Schwinn ten-speed. The tires need to be replaced and the chain is loose, but the thing actually works. I haven't had a working bicycle since I was 10, because the next bicycle I got, the gear changer thingy didn't work and it constantly felt like I was pedaling uphill, which is not something an 11 year old is interested in. So I'm absurdly happy about having a bike, as I've been thinking about getting one for months now. Even though I haven't gotten tires yet.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-269464096282369112008-06-27T12:58:00.002-04:002008-06-27T13:14:54.495-04:00Well, that makes senseSo I spent a while after my dismal attempt at <a href="http://anxious-exerciser.blogspot.com/2008/06/tequila-legs.html">second run</a> tooling around on Garage Band, which has always been on my computer but I haven't been cool enough to use it, recording my own Couch to 5K running podcast. I'm not sure if you could actually call it a podcast, because I have no intention on uploading it to iTunes, because my voice sounds like a stuttering chipmunk on crack , which is sure to be detrimental when I actually use this "podcast." But I timed out the cues, and it didn't take me that long at all to figure out Garage Band and I didn't have to read most of the directions they told me to read. I'm sure Mr. Ullrey was much more technical at figuring out what the optimum beats per minute are, but I also have experience with the running interval so I knew what kind of song I needed when. I'm feeling kind of accomplished, even though Mac's whole selling point is that you'd have to be an idiot to not understand how these programs work. But I listened to it after I finished and it came out sounding not half bad.<br /><br />Unfortunately I woke up having the worst ToM in years, and felt very nauseous this morning. Or it could be a stomach bug, in which case I'm going away next week and I don't want to be doing anything that could aggravate it, namely doing strenuous activity that could make me feel nauseous anyway. And if it was a stomach bug, it might account for why I failed miserably at physical activity this week. Or I could just be a pansy.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-55341151789169821902008-06-25T09:11:00.007-04:002008-06-26T07:55:34.074-04:00Tequila LegsSo, Mizfit wanted to know how my hump day was going, and not to whine or anything but I'm still frustrated.<br /><br />I was debating on whether or not to do the yoga/pilates class today. I was very much leaning toward not doing it. I would be able to sleep later, for one. Plus, while I've benefited very much from yoga/pilates, it is not without its side effects. More often than not my legs feel like I've just drank too much teguila when I walk out of there. It also makes me feel very sleepy, probably due to the savasana resting period at the end. While there are days where there is nothing more than I'd like to laze around and feel like I just drank some tequila without the needing to puke, it does tend to be inconvenient. Namely on days when I am attempting to do a run that just kicked my ass a few days before. Having tequila legs while retrying asskicking running interval equals not a good thing.<br /><br />What makes it worse is that I'm sure that even people who get sent home on the first day on The Biggest Loser could probably do this interval running thing.<br /><br />Nevertheless, I elected to do it in addition to planning on doing the interval afterwards. I would stay alert during the savasana thingy, drink lots of water afterwards, and stop for a coffee on the way home. The second (third?) problem arose with the coffee. I'm a bit lactose intolerant, and it is worst in the morning. Surprisingly, I did not realize I was lactose intolerant until I started eating better. I just kind of assumed all those years that you were supposed to feel gross in the morning. I never suspected it was the milk I put in my cereal. I'm also not a big coffee drinker, and when I do, I tend to drink it in the afternoon, when I'm at work, when having a bit of milk in my coffee doesn't bother me. So I rarely drink coffee in the morning, and mostly drink it black when I do. But today I decided to go for an ice coffee, and without thinking, I got it with milk. Which made me feel not very well, especially as I don't drink much milk anymore, so I'm probably more sensitive to it than I used to be. So my run was delayed longer than I wanted it to be, because the longer I refrain from exercise the less likely I'll do it, and once I did get out there, I didn't feel that great.<br /><br />So yet again, the run kicked my ass. Even worse than before, actually. It really aggravated me, because I could run for an hour straight on the elliptical at the gym and never get my ass kicked like this. If I ever felt like I really wanted to get off, I'd slow down for a minute or two and click through my playlist, and pretty quickly I'd come across a song from the Dropkick Murphys, or "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" by U2, or even "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen or "Canned Heat" aka the Napoleon Dynamite song , and it would be enough to drive me past that feeling. But even though the Couch to 5K podcasts are a godsend and the music is actually enjoyable, there isn't the insane energetic song when I need it. Maybe I need to actually get tech savy and record something for myself.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-33530082605869825292008-06-23T11:12:00.006-04:002008-06-23T11:56:49.889-04:00So, today's another weekSo today kind of sucked. I hadn't blown it quite as much as I had last week, but I still didn't really watch what I ate at all, so I went up this week. I started the next level of the Couch to 5K but towards the end my legs just would not move any more and I almost sat down on the sidewalk right there. I'm just frustrated with myself.<br /><br />But today is a different day. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do well this week. I'm going to actually try this week. What a novel idea.<br /><br />Okay, other things, I guess. Last week, I was incredibly stressed out. I'm a pretty stressed out person in general, but for some reason it never really effects my sleep. So if I'm stressed out enough to be tired, you know it has to be bad. I was literally waking up every hour and a half or so with my heart racing. The reason why I was stressed out so much is that I'm in the midst of trying to apply to grad school. I'm definitely not pinning all my hopes on getting into grad school, and it won't be the end of the world, and that's the assumption I'm working on, and I'll go through my days, being stressed about getting into grad school but really not too bad. I mean, I don't <i>feel</i> stressed.<br /><br />But boom, as soon as my head hits the pillow, racing heart and nightmares galore. I had an interview at the school last week. In case I haven't mentioned, I live about twenty miles outside of Boston and the school I'm hoping to get into is in Boston. As you may have also heard, the Celtics are the best team in the NBA. To celebrate this fact, Boston had a huge parade. Right at exactly the time I was having my interview. The only way to reach this school is through public transportation, which, of course, was packed. I had to walk a bit of a distance because the parking lot at the subway station was full, which normally wouldn't be a huge deal if I were wearing sensible shoes. But I was not wearing sensible shoes, I was wearing shoes that I bought at Kohls at 10:15 the night before when I had my obligatory "Oh shit, I have nothing to wear to this interview dealy!" moment. So, at the end of the day, even though I probably walked less than a mile, total, my feet looked like they had tumors on them. The blisters were so bad that I couldn't even think about putting on socks the next day, never mind workout sneakers.<br /><br />To top it off, I couldn't even stay and watch the parade, because a. I was so tired from the constant nightmares, and b. I couldn't stand to be in those shoes a moment longer, and I didn't think being barefoot on the streets of Boston in a crowd of a couple of thousand was a good idea.<br /><br />I didn't have the time on Thursday (the day of the interview) to work out, and Friday, I just couldn't even think of doing anything, never mind going out and running. But as stated, today is a new day and week. I didn't have nightmares the night before, and I did go out and run, though I wasn't entirely successful in what I had planned to do. So, today's another week.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-45431038120465937192008-06-06T21:21:00.002-04:002008-06-06T21:44:04.712-04:00Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed. ~Charles SchulzI'm wicked tired. The only thing I can chalk this up to is running. This has never happened before, getting tired from exercising. I mean, if I get in one of my crazy phases and do three hours of it, yes, I do tend be so tired that I get pissed off at my body for being hungry and therefore making me do something energetic like feed it. But if I just do one, hour or less, activity, especially in the morning, I am always, and I mean always, fine. I get back home from the gym at 7:30 in the morning, check my email, take a shower, and watch sitcom repeats until I have to leave for work sometime in the afternoon, and once I finish with the shower, it's like I was never there. Oh, there have been the health benefits that you get from exercising, but that's more of a cumulative thing than a daily thing.<br /><br />Running is hard, sure. I suck at it, sure, and I'm gasping for air in ways I only did before when we did cardio weightlifting (not sure if that is the actual term, but basically it is weightlifting! Energetically! And making you feel like you did ten minutes straight of jumping jacks! And wanting to scream swears at the instructor that you previously felt very amiable toward!). But I think this is all an effect of being a pansy ass wuss and I'm pretty sure I probably panted and gasped for air like this whenever I started exercising.<br /><br />But now that I think of it, it might just be all that fresh air. Sort of like, when you spend all day sitting at the beach doing nothing more strenuous than carrying your blanket on the short walk from the parking lot to the beach and turning the pages of a novel, and yet, when you get home you absolutely can't wait to get to bed. I really don't get why the fresh air, which everyone alleges to be brisk! and energizing! is making me exhausted while when I go to the gym and breath in the cleaning supply fume infested air, I could just as well have been sleeping an hour after I leave.<br /><br />Well, that was awfully rambly. And I really should sleep now, even though it is 9:30 at night and thus I fail as a twenty-three year old, because I tried to spell "awfully" as "offlely."Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-27470613342021837302008-06-02T10:24:00.003-04:002008-06-02T10:45:42.150-04:00EehhhWeigh in Day. I went up a pound and a half. Which is highly surprising. I had been on vacation where nearly the only thing I ate, with the exception of some deviled eggs and cheerios for breakfast, was McDonald's, KFC, McDonald's and Zaxby's (which is a southern chicken fancy fast food place). The anxiety and depression reared their heads again after eating so much crappy food, which in turn triggered me to eat more crap. I also had gone to the movies and drank a huge bucket of coke and a bag of buttered popcorn. I'd been expecting gain at least three pounds and realistically twenty. So yay me. And yay nearly the whole container of Trader Joe's mini milk chocolate peanut butter cups that I've eaten between last night and this morning. Oh well.<br /><br />I also have been keeping up with the running. I mean, I'm proud of myself for staying on program (occasional excess fast food and delicious Trader Joe's chocolate peanut butter cups aside) and keeping up with exercise in general, but honestly, I am so proud of myself for getting past that first day of running. Hell, I'm proud of myself for getting out the door and doing it. So go me. Oddly enough, even though I've been doing less strength training because the classes I've happened to cut out to do instead of running happen to be the ones that include strength training, I can definitely feel more muscle and feel more toned up. I mean, obviously I would feel it in my legs, and in my core to a certain extent. But I really feel it in my arms. Like, I don't even have to flex my arm any more to feel the muscles in my arm. Which really surprised me. I have no idea how that happens. I know my arms move when I run and I'm careful to keep them in positions which people say are best while running, but it isn't as though I am running with weights or anything. But whatever, I'll take it. Alas, I still have the underarm flab.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-79674967650720134142008-05-27T22:04:00.003-04:002008-05-27T22:24:57.393-04:00Time for some thrilling heroics (except really not)Surely if the weather is this nice...or at least warm, that means God wants me to enjoy it and not waste it by running around getting all sweaty. At least, that's what I tried to tell myself this morning when I woke up. Except it was kind of dreary and only slightly warm when I first woke up and apparently had been raining that night before I woke up.<br /><br />The pushy voice told me it was probably perfect running weather. I wouldn't get too hot, there'd still be water dripping from the trees that would feel nice, but it wasn't so cool that I'd start coughing my lungs out. And even if it wasn't perfect running weather, how would I know until I tried? My running sneakers, which also seem to have a voice, reminded me that I feel damn cool while wearing them (even if I do overpronate enough that if you start looking at them too long they look like orthopedic shoes), that I did spend a helluva lot of money on them, and they are just too damn pretty to spend their life in front of the kitchen door. So I ran. And I did the second week of the couch to 5K thing, and although it wasn't as bad as my first day and really wasn't too bad at all, I was very glad when I was done. I was also, however, very glad that I had done it.<br /><br />And I've got more to say, but all the sudden I am very tired and my eyes keep shutting while I type this out so hopefully my hands have stayed on homerow, because I don't feel like typing this all out again.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-67803934559656027812008-05-16T10:16:00.003-04:002008-05-16T10:24:02.091-04:00Day 3So I just finished my third run of week one for Couch to 5K. I never thought running would feel this good. I told the therapist that I didn't think I ever felt so good after I finished my run on day 2. Me! The kid always in last place in gym class and who loathed the idea of running with every fiber of my being, and getting cold sweats at the mere thought of the track team.<br /><br />Of course, you can check back in with me next week or in three weeks and I'll probably be reading this and ready to smack my naive, optimistic self. And what I'm doing is better classified as brisk walking intervaled (I'm pretty sure that isn't a word) with slow jogging, but everyone has to start of somewhere. And goddammit, I liked it and I'm proud of myself, so so what if it isn't hard core running.<br /><br />I'm going away for a few days to visit a friend in Tennessee, so while I hope I won't have to start off from scratch, I might have to do a fourth day of week one. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-52821927007145864702008-05-14T09:32:00.003-04:002008-05-14T09:49:55.011-04:00Couch to 5K Take IISo I did the second day of Couch to 5K yesterday. I'd been walking around on Monday and yesterday with zombie legs. But using the same (probably stupid) reasoning that got me to the gym on Monday, that warming up the muscles and stretching might make them feel better.<br /><br />I took it fairly easier. Every time there was one of the running times I thought about not running too fast. It took two or three minutes off of my time, but it made a world of difference. I wasn't wheezing at all, my face was only moderately pink, and when the sonnofabitch told me that I should be feeling the effect of running but not be out of breath, that was actually almost true. Yesterday there was apparently a hurricane passing through so I was running face first into the wind, and I had just saved a trash barrel that had been rolling across the street and then had to run across a few streets during one of the rest periods, so I maintain I had a good reason for being out of breath. And I didn't need to spit even once. I also didn't collapse when I got home and was able to stretch out. I felt loads better after the run and energized. I wasn't hacking all day yesterday and I didn't need a nap any more than I usually do.<br /><br />Another plus? I'm pleased to report that my legs are significantly unzombiefied. Though I also went to yoga to stretch out this morning, and I know that helped tons. So, live and learn.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-26772999400086752962008-05-12T10:18:00.002-04:002008-05-12T10:54:35.120-04:00Weigh-in Day and first day of Couch to 5KI went up 1.6 pounds this week. But I was sick last week and lost more weight than I was expecting and it was that time of the month...Okay, in reality my gain this week probably had very little to do with these things. I tend to lose the week after ToM. And yes, I probably could have gone up a little after being sick, but I know very well the reasons why I went up. I had Wendy's double cheeseburger and fries with a Coke that claimed to be medium sized but was really probably the size of a Big Gulp. I didn't finish it. I got a breakfast sandwich at the place I get my coffee at with bacon and cheese and it was absolutely delicious but probably not worth it. I had two Trader Joe's bagel pizzas and then I went out with my friends and got a mint milk shake sort of thing with some sort of booze that I can't remember. However, I only had one potato skin, but I also had two pieces of crusty, buttery bread. Yesterday was Mother's day and I went to my grandparents, and that's kind of just asking for trouble, though I didn't do too bad. Lastly, my cookie addiction reared it's ugly head with a vengeance. On top of all that, I only exercised on Monday (which was a mistake and when my body reminded me that flu+step aerobics=stupid, idiot Fooled. It was about time I lived up to that name. I went to kick boxing on Thursday and I didn't do much better.<br /><br />I have to go back to what I was doing before. I had been snacking on super healthy crackers from Trader Joe's with Laughing Cow cheese, but then I decided I was eating too much of that, so I cut down on that. Apparently there is an inverse proportion of laughing cow and crackers consumed to cookies. I'm not sure if I grammared that sentence properly, but whatever. So I loaded up on super healthy Trader Joe's crackers and laughing cow cheese.<br /><br />I also went to the specialty running store around here. I didn't know there was one. I thought the closest one was in Boston. But I looked it up again and lo and behold there is one not far away at all. There was a very nice young man who fitted me for shoes and gave me some advice and gave me the student discount even though currently I'm not a student, and didn't appear to want to laugh at the fat girl who wants to start running. I spent more on the sneakers than I have ever spent on clothes ever, including a winter parka. I think. But as far as running shoes go, they weren't too bad, especially since I really do not want to be injured and go to physical therapy and not be able to exercise at all. And I figure if I really do start running instead of going to the gym so much, I'll break even pretty soon on saving gas.<br /><br />I did the first day of the Couch to 5K program yesterday. I listened to the podcast with techno-y music and the guy telling you when to run and when to walk. He was a very nice man with a very un-annoying voice. However, he is a lying sonnofabitch because he told me I was almost done when there was just a little less than half left. I hate when people tell me I'm almost done when I'm doing something I don't want to be doing because then he'll say something like "Okay! Time for another burst of running!" And I'll be like, "You sonnofabitch, I thought you said I was almost done." And it would have gone on for another four intervals. And I would have hated him. It was a good thing I had looked at how much time was left so I could see where I should run next just before he announced that I was almost done.<br /><br />He also told me, when I was three quarters of the way done, that I should be "feeling the effects of running but shouldn't be out of breath" and if I had the breath, I would have collapsed in front of the post office laughing, scaring the mobster looking guy mailing his documents, because I definitely was mostly out of breath. I also skipped the last twenty seconds of running because that was when I got to my house, and there was no way I could have asked my legs to run any more when the house was <i>right there</i>. I did, however, do the rest of the cool down.<br /><br />I was coughing and hacking the rest of the day. Probably because of the fresh air and pollen. It reminded me of gym class in junior high, which coincidentally, was the last time I ran outside for more than the distance between softball bases. We had English after gym in junior high when we were doing track and field sort of things, and the whole class would be hacking away, annoying the hell out of the English teacher. I'm not sure why even the jocky sort of kids were still hacking after running. It must have been the weather. Anyway, yesterday, my face was dark red, like the first time I went on the elliptical. Once I finished the cool down, I almost had to crawl to the front steps and I sat there for nearly fifteen minutes.<br /><br />I think I probably ran too fast. That's one thing I've heard that beginner runners nearly always do. I also think I didn't drink enough water before going out. I might have not warmed up enough or stretched. Actually, I know I didn't, because I'm having trouble getting up from the toilet this morning, I'm so sore. I also went to step aerobics. Quite willingly, because I figured it would help to warm up the muscles that were stiff. It actually did help, but I'm not too sure if I should keep doing what I did yesterday, if one of the selling points of running would be that I wouldn't have to do step aerobics and I have to go to step aerobics to recover from running.<br /><br />I do know that I worked harder running that mile and a half or so than I do when I run seven miles on the elliptical. I was more whipped than I am when I do the super intense cardio kickboxing class. So if I can do those two things pretty well now. Not expertly, but pretty well, and I need to be challenged, I think I'll be in much better shape if I can keep up with the running.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-63772189858019783492008-05-08T13:27:00.002-04:002008-05-08T13:34:44.407-04:00That's it. I'm going to start running tomorrow. Currently the gym is the furthest place I drive to, and last night I spent $46 filling up my rather small Pontiac Sunfire. I don't want to cut the gym out entirely. But seeing as I hate step, I might cut that out a little. I'm not exactly a fan of running either, but I can pick my own music and I like the idea of running better than I like the idea of doing step.<br /><br />I've heard a lot of good things about<a href="http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml"> this site</a>, so I might try and follow that plan. I'm not so much a beginner in the gym anymore, but I am definitely a beginner as far as running. I don't know why, but I feel like I'd be winded running down the block, which is probably fifty yards away.<br /><br />I'm currently trying to figure out how people manage to coordinate carrying water and an ipod and figuring out how far they are going. I guess I need a watch.<br /><br />So maybe I'll log my distance/times here.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6009279810293908890.post-22472067416748467342008-05-06T22:27:00.002-04:002008-05-06T22:38:37.253-04:00Not exercising.Inspired by <a href="http://unstarved.com/2008/05/05/excuses-excuses/">this entry</a> at unstarved, I did not exercise this morning. Okay, actually not. I legitimately had stuff that needed doing starting at 4:30 am and ending at 4:30pm. And I don't care, but I think I'm crazy enough anyway for getting up at 5 am for exercising. I'm not getting up any earlier unless...I really don't have an instance where it would be an unless.<br /><br />I am also planning on not going to the gym tomorrow, because tomorrow is piyo, and I've done piyo thing when I am sick and it gets messier than when I do cardio. Nose running while I'm in a downward dog or forward fold. Engaging my core somehow tripping off a coughing attack. I'm feeling loads better. Really. Cross my hear and hope to die. And I <i>probably</i> won't hack my lungs out during savasana, but on the off chance, I don't want the spinners who come in afterwards to ruin their funky shoes by stepping on my organs.<br /><br />I might...try running tomorrow. Or walking. Probably walking. Or more likely, probably nothing at all. But I'm really itching for something. I was going to go for a walk this afternoon, it being the first nice day for about a week, but when I stepped outside, it appeared that all the pollen from eastern Massachusetts had collected in my lungs. So I settled for reading a book outside and scaring the neighbors by doing my best impression of my cat being sick.Fooledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10571785282461698911noreply@blogger.com0