Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Zombie Menace

I've been having a lot of dreams about zombies lately. A lot being defined here as more than one, because really, unless you've had zombies on the brain (hah. Get it? zombies on the brain? It's almost a pun), how many zombie dreams can a person expect to have? And I haven't seen a zombie movie recently and the last (and only) zombie book I read was World War Z about six months ago.

I highly recommend that book by the way. It is remarkably well thought out. Interesting study of class and culture conflict brought on by the Zombie Menace. Seriously.

Anyway, in my most recent zombie related dream, I wanted to run out to the garage to get my softball bat and a gardening implement to create a zombie destroying weapon. But I was afraid I would either be too slow or trip on the way out there, leaving me open to a zombie attack.

Anyway, as anyone who has a zombie related dream, one worries if one's dreams are precognitive, and if so, what one should do to prepare for a possible future zombie pandemic, and what sort of websites are out there to prepare one for such a thing.

Luckily, I got myself some coffee which banished most zombie related thoughts before I took such drastic action as looking up zombies on the Internet. Who knows where that could lead?

But it brought to mind that if suddenly I was in the middle of a zombie infestation, I couldn't rely on myself to be able to out run even a pack of zombies (zombies, you see, being known for being rather slow and uncoordinated) without worrying about tripping. I'd be that twit in movies that runs around in stilettos and twisting her ankles, except without the excuse of stilettos.

What does it say about my balance that one of my worries is that I'd probably trip while out running a (so far) hypothetical creature? I'm fairly sure I'd be able to out run a zombie. Pretty sure. But you can never be too sure about zombies. They are, after all, hypothetical.

So anyway, one of my motivators lately has been thinking about possible zombie outbreaks. Five more minutes on the elliptical is five more minutes of training of out running zombies. Another rep of weight lifting means more upper body strength behind that softball bat/zombie weapon. Another round of Wii boxing means being able to destroy that zombies brain's that much easier.

Hey, whatever works.

1 comment:

nolafwug said...

It's really funny to read this because I started getting into running/fitness a year ago and I was calling it Zombie Apocalypse Training to my friends and only half joking.

Picturing myself kicking major zombie butt a la Mila Jovavich in the Resident Evil movies has been a huge motivator for me as silly as it sounds.

You never really know - the zombie apocalypse could happen. You just have to make sure to cross-train because the zombies in 28 days later weren't slow and shambling.